You may find the chemistry behind vinyl complicated, but it’s actually simple (see “Ode to Old Vinyl,”).  Yes, you can make your vinyl records with this easy step-by-step guide.

Step 1

You will need a source of PVC.  Many materials contain PVC, including credit cards and pipes.  If in doubt, find your parents’ old records and simply melt these down (make sure to remove the labels first; if not, it will result in an inferior quality record).

Step 2

Melt down you PVC.  This can be done over a kitchen stove.  Avoid breathing in the fumes as they are highly carcionogenic.

Step 3

Add pigment.  Black records may be obtained by added pencil lead (graphite) to the mixture; other colors can be obtained using food colorings.

Step 4

Pour your melted vinyl onto a flat plate and compress with any weights you happen to have lying around.

Step 5

Remove your disk and carve groves into it in a spinal pattern.

Step 6

Play your new record!